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Are You Equally Yoked?

The word Yoke comes from when two oxens are joined together.

To be equally yoked, comes from the biblical concept when two oxens of same stature are yoked together. An oxen yoked with a smaller oxen is unequally yoked.

There needs to be levels of equality in your relationships whether it's marriage, business, friendships etc. If you're not going in the same direction one can pull the other down and won't do a lot of work, yoking together means, having the same vision, communication is effective, understanding and strategy.

One of the ways you discern your partner is if you're equally yoked.

You can be married and be unequally yoked, but there are ways to work on your marriage so that you're both going in the same direction.

1. Understanding that your passion and your love for Jesus is similar - in business this may not always apply, you can be a business partner with someone without having to discuss intimate issues, we must be able to evangelise others and that also means working with someone who may not be in the same faith with you. But in marriage, it's different, your idea of the Kingdom needs to be similar and in this I mean Jesus, just because someone believes in God, doesn't mean they believe in Jesus. For example Muslims believe in Jesus as a prophet, but not as a Messiah. You must have come from the same doctrine. One of the requirement that scripture has for marriage is that you be equally yoked.

2. You both have a desire to grow and to propel in the things of God. My husband doesn't understand the prophetic, but if he wants to learn more then there is desire to grow, or your girlfriend goes to church but doesn't pray often, if she desires to learn more about prayer, then you're headed in the right direction. Your spouse or future partner needs to have a desire to grow spiritually even in the areas that they are not strong. That doesn't mean that you both need to be at the same level I. E you both don't have to Prophecy, or love missions, or sing together, because we're wired differently, but if the other person is pushing you forward then your fine.

3. Do you understand what God has put in your partners life, can you articulate what your partner carries, what are your partners gifting, what has God called them to be. You must articulate what your partner is carrying. It's the same thing with non romantic friendships, I should be able to tell you what my best friend loves, or hates or what they carry, what makes them tick or think the way they do, or what drives.

4. You both don't feel jealous of each other's relationships towards God, in regards towards God. You will have relationships where people are jealous of the others gifts, assignment or relationship with God, when you're in a courtship or even married and this comes up, then it's something for you to work on, you want to find out why your spouse or partners issues of jealousy rises up when you worship God or use your gifts. The worst thing to have going on in your life is a competition with your spouse, your spouse should cheer and encourage you.

5. You need to have clarity about your ministry goals, career goals and your life goals and you and your future spouse need to both understand where your goals overlap. If one is called to ministry and the other is not, then you must understand what your job is, such as to pray for them, encourage and support them when you can. If the other is called into business, your job is to support them and maybe administrate in their business, figure out the role you should play in your spouses life. For example career goals one wants to move to the city and work in an investment bank, whilst the other wants to live on a farm and raise chickens, well you need to figure out how it's going to happen, understanding seasons is a great way to work this through, it may have to be both agree to move to the city for the investment banking job to manifest and later on in life, move to the farm. Must have clarity on your career goals. Before you get married, you must have clarity on the vision of God over your life. 

6. Have similar core values things like, family is important to both of you, where you worship together is a core value, creating finances is important. The Lord will yoke you with someone with an opposite temperament to you, the ide being marriage is meant to make us more holy. A good way to yoke with someone is to discover your temperaments.. you must understand the differences and how to bring those differences to work together because if you don't, you'll just go in opposite directions in the years to come.

7. You guys must challenge each other to grow, you don't want to marry somebody who does not want to make you become better, you don't want to marry someone who you don't admire. Admire how they think, do things, how they view the world. Their strengths should sometimes be your weaknesses and vice versa so you can help the. Grow them out, it helps the marriage. There are biblical roles in scripture based on the graces that we have. Women are very emotionally wired we gather information etc and when are children come and tell us about their whole day, we can take the information, condense it and give it to our husbands who are not wired to be that way. Husbands help bring balance because they do not take everything emotionally, they don't want to talk about everything because they use a thousands words every single day, husband s don't want to talk about feelings and emotions every time, because they're wired to solve problems, they're wired to come up with the solutions. In every relationship you'll have a spender and a saver. If the husband cooks better and the wife cleans better that's fine. Women are wired to create places of peace and refuge, men are wired to work and provide. Issues arise on how we treat each other emotionally, how we talk to them, how we respect them.

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